Looking after, looking back
I wanted to write something about looking after myself again, but it won’t …
I just wanted to say -
I still don’t understand it today, just as I didn’t understand it four years ago when someone told me that I shouldn’t marginalize myself. I supposed then that the remark came out of my post-colonial ramblings, or perhaps my more personal whining. But just a few months later I self-psychologized that perhaps I was asking for help without really knowing it.
At that time my world was - on the outside - a broad exciting one, but from the inside it was really tiny, in effect, a prison. The memory of misery of that time still make me cry and the emotional pain still make me shake in my sleep.
- The female principle is a foolish one, verging on self-destruction, but only in an uncaring unbalanced world.